A New Year: A Refreshed Spirit

Most New Year’s resolutions are aimed at improving one’s body or mind.  The desire and effort exuded to lose weight, increase exercise, reduce stress or sleep more are positive additions to one’s health regime.  Developing the spirit, though, is often disregarded from the list of the resolutions.

The human being is not just physical; it is the totality of the mind, body and spirit.  Each facet has a profound effect on the other two.  The connection between the three is absolute, and a person’s life functions optimally when all three facets are in balance. 

Dr. Andrew Weil, author of numerous books on health, graduate of Harvard Medical School, and clinical professor of medicine and director of the Program in Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona, states in his book Healthy Aging, “One of the tenets of the integrative medicine that I practice is that health and illness involve more than the physical body; good medicine must address whole persons, meaning bodies, minds, and spirits.”

Examples of the trifecta abound in all areas of life.  The porn industry understands the connection and capitalizes on the fact that the mind and body communicate.  Another example would be to imagine drinking a cup of ice cold vinegar; most would soon find their mouth watering.  Active people who’ve had surgery or a lengthy illness where physical activity is postponed realize the depression that can follow is a result of inactivity. 

Miracles, healings of the body and mind, and loving actions are testaments to the power of spirit.  A well-balanced spirit not only enhances one’s self, but has the ability to enrich others’ lives as well.   A positively developed spirit offer reaches out to the community in forms of love, hope, and prayers.  It is from the spirit that humanity pulls strangers from burning cars and rescues the unknown from the tragedies caused by natural disasters.  Compassionate acts for the homeless and suffering arise from the spirit.  A precious spirit is what makes a mother offer forgiveness to the drunk driver who killed her only child.

In his book, Love, Medicine & Miracles, Bernie S. Siegel, M.D., states:

 “Acceptance, faith, forgiveness, peace, and love are the traits that define spirituality for me.  These characteristics always appear in those who achieve unexpected healing of serious illness.”

“ . . . we’ve found that four faiths are crucial to recovery from serious illness: faith in oneself, one’s doctor, one’s treatment, and one’s spiritual faith.”

“Choose to love and make others happy, and your life will change, because you will find happiness and love in the process.  The first step towards inner peace is to decide to give love and not receive it.”

With all the positive kudos attributed to the human facet of spirit, what better time than the new year to revive and refresh the spirit?

Below are suggestions for developing the spirit:

Enrich faith beliefs—Study the roots and true meaning of your religious beliefs.  It’s one thing to cling to the mechanics of faith, but quit another to realize why.  Study other religions or denominations—understanding others’ perspectives doesn’t mean embracing them.  Knowledge and wisdom are essential for spiritual growth.  Develop a faith routine, or enhance an existing one.

Spend time outdoors—Take walks, especially quiet ones in nature.  Temporarily clear the mind.  Focus on the sights, sounds, and smells of the open air.  Breathe deeply.

Appreciate silence—Quiet time provides a sense of peace, calm and serenity, and allows time for meaningful contemplation.

Breathe—Weil states in Healthy Aging: “Pay attention to your breath.  Many cultures identify breath with spirit, seeing the breath cycle as the movement of spirit in the physical body.”  Note John 20:22 concerning Jesus: “. . . He breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit.”  Cognizant breathing also helps one to cope with stress, sleep better, and better manage depression and fatigue.  With those aspects of life under control, one’s physical looks are also improved.

Carve out alone time—Even a few moments of alone time combined with silence refreshes the spirit, slows the mind, and relaxes the body.

Love deeply—Love is not just a feeling, it’s also the actions behind the feelings.

Forgive others—Consider the sobering line from the Lord’s Prayer: “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us . . . “

Listen to music.  In the words of Siegel from Love, Medicine, and Miracles:  “Music opens a spiritual window.”  Music’s healing properties were known in Biblical times.  1 Samuel 16:23 tells us, “. . . David took the lyre and played it with his hand, and Saul would be relieved and feel better, and the evil spirit would depart from him.”  And in 2 Kings 3:14-15, “Elisha said ‘. . . But get me a musician.’  And then, while the musician was playing, the power of the Lord came on him.”   

Become others-oriented—Consider the prayer of St. Francis:  “. . . grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.  For it is in giving that we receive.  It is in pardoning that we are pardoned . . .”

 Avoid Holiday Weight Gain

The Christmas season is upon us, but to eat, drink, and be merry isn’t an automatic recipe for weight gain.  The amount of pounds a person adds to their body during the holiday season is controlled by the choices he or she makes concerning drink, food, and fitness. 

Dietary Choices—By learning the nutritional content of foods and beverages, one can then choose wisely.  Healthy dietary choices when goodies are plentiful don’t have to be a drag.  For example, an eight-ounce serving—or one cup—of eggnog averages 330-440 calories and 19 grams of fat—and that’s without additions of whipped cream, ice cream, flavorings, etc.  A wiser option would be an eight-ounce cup of Swiss Miss hot chocolate with marshmallows and no artificial sweeteners at 120 calories and 2.5 grams of fat.  No deprivation of rich and festive there—just a wiser and healthier alternative.

Even if a person doesn’t know the calorie/fat content of foods and beverages, choices can often be made intuitively.  For example, one can rightly assume a light beer has fewer calories than a margarita or mixed drink.  If food or drink feels “heavy,”—it more than likely will make the one who consumes it heavy. 

At parties or family gatherings, sip on a sensibly chosen beverage over three or four calories-laden ones.  Since alcohol lowers inhibitions, beware.  It can decimate your willpower into thinking such things as, “It’s okay to eat four brownies—just this once.”  If parties provide snacks, eat a well-balanced meal beforehand, then load up on veggies and a little dip over cookies, brownies, candy, and pies.  Or have one or two goodies rather than a plateful.

Fitness—Holiday busyness is often blamed for lack of fitness follow-through, but it need not be.  Valuable exercise can be accomplished in the time it takes to watch a half-hour television show.  Thirty minutes a day of exercise can be multi-tasked with other duties, if need be.  For example, plan dinners and Christmas gifts while taking a brisk walk.  Use free weights—or canned goods as free weights—to exercise the arms while watching that TV show anyway.  Leg exercises, stretches and crunches can be done while you watch as well.   Not only will the exercise enhance weight loss and tone muscles, it’s a great de-stresser during the hectic time of year.

Healthy dietary and fitness choices at Christmastime not only control potential weight gain to the body and de-stress the mind, they leave a person with a sense of well-being and accomplishment at the end of the holiday season.  When the scales reveal no seasonal weight gain in mid-January, will the previous choices of one food or beverage over another feel like a deprivation?  The triumph of positive weight management can provide an incentive to practice alternative consumption and continued exercise all year round.

Thanksgiving Day has come and gone for another year.  Families were gathered, grace was said, food and drink were savored, and fellowship ensued.  But upon examination, was sincere, deep thanksgiving poured out to the living God?  Was His sacrifice for mankind considered, and were humanity’s vast abundance of blessings truly remembered?  Were they accounted for one by one? 

The act of gratitude, or lack thereof, was questioned by Christ in Luke 17:11.  On his way to Jerusalem, Jesus was approached by ten lepers who asked Him to have mercy on them.  Only one, upon realizing he was healed, turned back, praised God loudly, prostrated himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked Him.  Jesus responded, “Were not ten made clean?  But the other nine, where are they?  Was none of them found to return and give praise to God . . .?”

Christ Himself was thankful.  In the institution of the Lord’s Supper as revealed in each of the synoptic gospels, Jesus gave thanks.   

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, an early 20^th century German protestant theologian, stated in his book Life Together: “Only he who gives thanks for little things receives the big things.  We prevent God from giving us the great spiritual gifts he has in store for us because we do not give thanks for daily gifts.   . . . We pray for the big things and forget to give thanks for the ordinary, small (and yet really not small) gifts.  How can God entrust great things to one who will not thankfully receive from him the little things?  . . .” 

In response, though, one might reply, “But my life is filled with sickness, struggles, disappointment, and pain.  It’s hard for me to be thankful.”

Yes, but Jesus gave thanks at the meal knowing He was to be crucified for the sins of the whole world, and Bonhoeffer was imprisoned and executed by the Nazis at the age of 39. 

By comparison, most of us don’t have troubles. 

May genuine gratitude to God not just be given in fleeting moments during the rushed, highly commercialized holiday season, but every single day of the year.  May we praise God every morning at the first sign of consciousness, thanking Him for the preciousness of life, for salvation through His Son, and for the freedom to choose our paths.  May we all be like the lone, exceptional leper and thank the One from whom our blessings flow.

After all, Luke 17 reveals, He will notice. 

I wrote this piece for my Mind, Body, Spirit column and it ran on 11/23/07 as “Is There Really Thanks?” in the Lake Country Sun.

“Beauty creates energy and relieves stress.” 

I didn’t hear who the keynote speaker said she was quoting, but it didn’t matter.  Her opening words caught my attention and I was glad I’d attended the luncheon. 

How true that statement is.  It applies to both external and internal beauty. 

Externally, beautiful people are pleasing to look at.  One can be so mesmerized by another’s beauty that they can momentarily lose focus of reality. 

Dr. Judith Langlois, a psychology professor from the University of Texas at Austin, conducted research showing that even infants have a sense of what’s attractive.  In the late 1980s, she began placing three- and six-month-old babies in front of a screen and showed them pairs of facial photos.  Each pair included someone considered attractive by adult judges and someone considered unattractive, whether female, male or other babies.  The results concluded that infants gazed significantly longer at the “attractive” ones than the “unattractive” ones. 

During the Christmas season, people of all ages are drawn to the beauty of Christmas lights and decorations.  In fact, the gaudier and brighter the display, the more attention it receives.  Entire television shows are dedicated to showcasing elaborate light displays, some of which the homeowners have spent several months and thousands of dollars to concoct.  Why?  Because the creative beauty captivates, and for those moments spent fixated on them, stress is relieved and positive energy envelopes the body. 

Internal beauty also creates energy and relieves stress.  While God has given the world some incredible external beauty for mankind’s enjoyment, it’s the internal beauty of one’s soul that really matters.  It’s often harder to achieve internal beauty, though.  After all, it’s much easier to paint make-up on the face than it is to forgive one’s neighbor.  It’s easier to run a string of lights around one’s house than to open it to those in need.  Presenting a beautifully set table for the holidays may be easier than serving up genuine love to those who sit around it.  The splendor of a city’s downtown district with storefronts brimming of holiday clothes is much easier on the eyes—and especially the heart—than the homeless huddled on its curbs.

Although matters of the heart and soul are internal, they are by no means hidden from the external world.  Most can read the internal grindings and intentions of another.  Sometimes we’re caught off guard when we realize others have seen more deeply than the smile on our face, causing us to feel emotionally naked.  If only we’d choose our thoughts and attitudes as carefully as we choose the clothes we put on each morning. 

But, oh, when we meet people filled with sincere internal beauty, it’s like a breath of mountain air on a cool morning—fresh, invigorating, and stimulating.  Their inner workings override their physical features, and our descriptions of them to others are filled with the décor of their soul rather than their physical composition.  Those with internal beauty have the ability to revive us, to fill us with positive energy, and to melt away whatever stress plagues us at the moment.

Christ’s words and actions provide humanity with the means to purify the interior, and with Christmas just around the corner, what better time than His birthday celebration to do just that?

–I wrote this piece for my Mind, Body, Spirit column and it ran in the Lake Country Sun on 12/21/07.  It also ran that day as an editorial in the Star-Telegram newspaper as “The Wonder of Inner Beauty.”  Catholic Leader magazine also published it in September 2008.

Value of Silence

It only takes a few minutes of listening to another’s endless, mindless chatter to truly appreciate the saying “silence is golden.”  Likewise, basking in the realm of genuine silence leads one to truly appreciate sound—not loud, pointless, nerve-wracking clatter, but sounds that have value, substance, and a reason to be listened to. 

The winter season brings with it the sounds of Christmas and New Year’s celebrations, but in nature, a blanket of silence and stillness settles over the land.  Birds sing less, the cadence of crickets and locusts disappears, and gray skies shed a feeling of calmness.  Jet skiers, wakeboarders, and partiers trade lake water for the warmth of a fireplace at home.  The now unblemished water imparts a sense of tranquility.  Early morning fog often rolls across its mirror-like stillness, giving it peaceful, ethereal beauty. 

It’s in silence that the song of a lone red bird can be enjoyed and its whereabouts revealed without the aid of one’s eyes.  It’s in silence that the relative size of a fish jumping in the lake can be determined by the sound of its splash.  In silence one can also ascertain the approximate size of rocks tumbling from a bluff as audads meander across it.   

That same stillness of nature can—and should—be brought into one’s innermost being.  Silence has the ability to soothe the soul and calm the troubled spirit.  Once experienced, it becomes not an occasional luxury, but a necessity as vital as sleep, food, and water.  

Suggestions on using silence to clear mental and emotional clutter include:

Take a walk—Power walk or stroll—it doesn’t matter.  Regardless of the weather, dress appropriately and get moving.  Leave the Ipod at home.  If walking with a partner, forgo speech and enjoy nature’s sounds.

Nap—Nap away from main living areas.  Turn off the television, shut the door, cover up, breathe deeply, and unwind.   

Fish—Fishing isn’t always about catching fish.  Relax, savor the silence, yet hear the sounds of the lake.

Alone time—Carve a few minutes out of each day to be alone.  Arise earlier and drink coffee in the dark before showering for work.  Solitude in the morning helps one better tackle a hectic day.  Or bundle up after dinner and star gaze for awhile.  One can get lost in the night sky and find it difficult to return to the house and blaring television. 

Bedtime—Go to bed earlier sometimes.  If sleep doesn’t come immediately, breathe deeply and let go of the daily grind.  The silence can be soothing.  Note the rhythm of a clock’s ticking, the sound of the heater cutting on and off, or the cry of distant—or not so distant—coyotes.

While striving to reap the benefits of quiet time for ourselves, we also have the means to bestow its rewards upon others.  In the words of Rachel Naomi Remen: “The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen.  Just listen.  Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention . . . A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.”

Emptiness

His weathered, disheveled appearance caught her off guard just before she entered the Quick Mart.  His homeless look didn’t fit the profile of someone who lived in this part of town.  To make matters worse, he was so thin.  Shoulders sagging under the filthy, oversized golf shirt, he’d yanked up his frayed khakis when he’d approached her and asked for money as she walked toward the store.  She’d instinctively turned him down. 

A welcomed blast of air conditioning greeted her as she opened the glass door.  The Texas heat can be stifling in August. 

Compassion slammed against her heart as she waited in line to pay for her gasoline and soda.   Dear God, that’s someone’s son.   It’s 105 degrees today.  Will he still be there when I get outta here?  Please, let him be.  I’ve gotta do something.  I’ve gotta help that kid.  The vision of his skeletal frame asking for change haunted her, as did the lack of warmth and soul in his hazel eyes.  His blonde hair was stiff with street grime, and she had no idea he was only 21. 

She finally got through the line and hurried back outside.  Yes!  There he is!  This time she was going to help him.  (Or was it just to make herself feel better?)  As she placed all the money she had into the palm of his blackened, outstretched hand, she felt the jagged edges of its long, yellow talons brush against her own open palm.  She then dug down to the bottom of her purse—past the used tissues, lint balls and brittle sticks of old chewing gum—and scrounged up every piece of loose of change.   Perhaps that’ll help feed him for a while.  That kid’s probably got a mother out there worried sick about him.  I wonder what’s up with him anyway?

He didn’t raise his eyes to hers as he mumbled a thank you, then turned to hide the smirk creeping across his face.  He’d hit it big this time.  Yeah, that’ll last me for a day or so.  He waited for her to drive away before he dropped one of the quarters she’d given him into the store’s pay phone and called his meth dealer.   

Are you keeping up with the drug trouble in Mexico?  The whole country is beyond out of control.  An article released by the Associated Press today states that “police corruption is a key impediment to Mexico’s efforts to root out drug gangs . . .” and that “more than 4,000 people have been killed across the country this year as cartels battle for drug routes and lash back at President Felipe Calderon’s national crackdown on organized crime.” 

So what can Americans do to suffocate Mexico’s growing drug problem?  My response below was published as an editoral in the Lake Country Sun newspaper on 8/3/07.  It also ran in the Star-Telegram newspaper as “Best Poison for Rats” on 8/12/07.

The Rats are Winning, At Least in Mexico

In the rat race of life, the rats are winning.  In Mexico, at least. 

The strong arm of its brutal drug cartels hasn’t just suppressed ethical and moral behavior, but the very life of its country’s citizens.  Mexico’s inhabitants aren’t the only ones whose lives are being snuffed out—Americans are at risk as well. 

In April 2007, the U.S. State Department warned Americans residing and traveling in Mexico of narcotics-related violence.  Key phrases from the drug warning are enough to curdle one’s blood:  execution-style murders of Mexican officials . . . Mexican and foreign bystanders have been injured or killed . . . in its effort to combat violence, the Government of Mexico has deployed military troops . . . drug cartel members have been known to follow and harass U.S. citizens traveling in their vehicles.” 

For those familiar with the drug scene, it is a well-known fact that Mexico supplies huge quantities of marijuana, cocaine, heroin, and methamphetamine to the U.S.  The Drug Enforcement Administration estimates that 90% of the cocaine consumed by Americans comes in through Mexico.

Wow.  No wonder Mexican President Felipe Calderon is negotiating a counter-drug aid package with the Bush administration to the tune of approximately 700 million dollars.  Talks between the two presidents have been taking place quietly for several months.

The insanity of the situation is blatantly obvious.  Americans are buying so much pot, coke, heroin, and meth from Mexico that the drug cartels are filthy rich.  It’s reported that one recent cash seizure netted $206.00 million.  And now the presidents of the two countries are trying to figure out a way to remedy the overwhelming drug problem with Black Hawk helicopters, training, and technology.

For those who don’t think any of this affects them, think again.  Those hundreds of millions of dollars will come out of American taxpayers’ pockets.  What’s even more insane is that the same U.S. citizens who are buying the drugs are often the same U.S. citizens whose taxpayer money will be used to combat it.  Don’t be fooled into thinking it’s just the unemployed street druggies procuring the dope.  Your surgeon, airline pilot, or restaurateur is fair game.  The agitated guy cutting you off in traffic could be days into sleep deprivation and/or tweaking on meth, with a handgun under his seat.  

So how can we suffocate the growing prosperity of Mexico’s drug cartels?  How can American taxpayers save the potential $700 million “needed” to combat the deadly drug war?  The best rat poison to counter the drug vermin is the money in our hands—stop using it to buy the drugs.  Really, how can we complain about narcotic-related travel advisories, the disappearance of U.S. citizens in Mexico, and now the vats of money it’ll cost us to clean up the mess when Americans are the ones lining the cartels’ pockets?

Living in Methamphetamine’s Wake

Health Magazine recently sponsored a contest that invited its readers to respond to the following question:

“What made you want to get healthy–and what are you doing to make it happen?”

Below is an extended version of my response:

I survived methamphetamine addiction.  It wasn’t my addiction that plowed through every facet of my health–it was my son’s.  It devastated me emotionally, spiritually, and physically. 

I lost my son to meth.  Oh, he’s not dead.  Not yet.  But he’s a dead man walking, and believe me, some things are worse than death.  Far worse.  Hell’s sucking him in to be sure, and the undertow has pulled me under quite a few times too.  The last ten years are deeply etched with unrecoverable losses. 

Most people never go through in a lifetime the tragedies I’ve experienced in a week.  That fact alone puts me in a minority, and finding others that can truly empathize have to be sought out.  This creates a terrible feeling of aloneness, and more often than not cripples me with grief. 

But life wasn’t always like this.  There was a time when the four of us–my husband, my stepdaughter, my son and I–were a whole family instead of a broken one.  We laughed instead of cried.  We worshiped God together instead of struggled with our faith.  We loved instead of hated.  We faced life together instead of with an empty space.  We all slept at night instead of wondering if one of us was alive. 

My husband and I didn’t bring this lot in life upon ourselves.  We work hard, worship the triune God, and serve others.  We raised our children to do the same, and taught the virtues of responsibility, accountability, and gratefulness.  We didn’t turn a blind eye or deaf ear to the wrong-doings of our children. 

I can hardly remember what it was like to have a child who didn’t embrace rebellion, drugs, evil and deceit.  As a mother who constantly hugged and kissed her son, who was a compassionate, loving little boy with blonde curls, I now can’t remember the last time I even touched him.  But this is my life now, and it always will be, no matter what happens to him.  I will never be the same. 

I’ve always been drawn to the homeless on the streets.  Ironically, my husband, my son and I used to go to the local night shelter downtown with his Boy Scout troop and make food for the homeless.  There were so many of them, and I always wondered how they got in that position.  What were their stories?  At one time they were precious newborn babies.  Were they loved?  Were they abused?  I especially pondered the history of the ones who were obvious drug users.  What about their mothers?  Somewhere, these people have mothers, even if they’re in the grave.  Is there someone somewhere who loves them?  How did their lives ever come to this?

I never dreamed my son would show me just how a life can come to that place of destitution.  The only child I ever bore showed me how it can happen.  I became that mother I often wondered about.  It’s one’s worst nightmare come true. 

We can’t change my son–we’ve tried numerous times–and that’s another story.  Our experiences confirm that one can’t save someone who doesn’t want saving. 

After stress took its toll on my health in 2003, I realized that the one thing I could do was change the way I react to his choices.  I can only save myself.  Life’s always about choices. 

Although not always easy, every day I choose to nurture each facet my of my health in the following ways:

1.  Mental

Seek peace and joy in everyday life.  Perspective is a choice.  Depression is inevitable, but wallowing in it wastes away precious God-given days.  I envision the emotionally healthy person I want to be, then act as if I am that person–positive thinking breeds positive results.  Also, focusing on others distracts from personal problems and is much more productive. 

2.  Physical

Maintain an exercise routine no matter what. Daily exercise for 30 minutes or more clears the mind, relieves stress, improves sleep, and firms the body.

3.  Spiritual

Remain firm in religious beliefs.  Period.  Remember that the facts of faith are constant and human beings are fickle.  Stay rooted in faith and forgo the distration of vacillating feelings. 

I hope that sharing my response to Health’s contest question inspires readers to ask themselves:

“What makes me want to get healthy–and what am I doing to make it happen?”

 This piece ran in my Mind, Body, Spirit column in the Lake Country Sun on 11/09/07.  I call it “Indifference” but it ran as “Drug Abuse Destroys, Distorts All Who Are Around It”:

Drug abuse brings with it a special kind of hell—one that distorts and destroys not only the passionate users, but also anyone surrounding them.  Drugs suck the life out of everyone in their vicinity.  They also expose one of humanity’s worst characteristics—indifference. 

I’ve lost my child’s mind, body, and spirit to drugs, namely methamphetamine.  My memories are saturated with unfathomable experiences, to be sure, but humanity’s indifference has hit me like a spiked ball and chain to an already shredded, bleeding heart. 

A feeling of being disconnected from society is always with me.  No matter where I go, my reality goes there with me.  People everywhere, and yet loneliness in my own muck follows me like a cement block chained to my soul.  At times I want to shake people—complete strangers—and shout at them, “Don’t you see what’s happening?  I’ve lost my son!  Don’t you care!”  But life goes on, time waits for no one, and others have their own problems.  

What has really hurt and infuriated me through the years are those—whether friends, law officers, doctors, clergy, or strangers—who’ve been well aware of our family crisis and yet carried on with mechanical indifference.  I often try to view my situation objectively, wondering how people can be capable of such apathy toward the distress of others.  Surely it is a learned behavior, I tell myself.  Surely it’s not a normal response. 

I have a friend with a 25-year-old mentally and physically disabled son who once expressed to me that she, too, has this same internal dialogue with the world.  She, too, experiences grief that doesn’t have to be—grief brought on by the careless reactions of others.  My son chooses the pathetic life of drug use, and a nurse’s negligence caused permanent brain damage to her perfectly healthy baby boy. 

Internal screaming at the world’s indifference never ceases for some of us.

Bitterness at others’ indifference benefits no one, though—least of all the one feeling bitter.  Negativity, like drugs, erodes the mind, body, and spirit.  While others’ indifference is a choice, so are the decisions one makes in response to it.  

So what is the best counter response to indifference?  May we all offset it with major doses of compassion to those in need and forgive those whose actions hurt us. 

After all, what did Jesus do?